


the truth, for you

by serendipitiness



Series: sh ficlets [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A Little Sentimental, A little fluffy, Character Study, M/M, POV Alec Lightwood, post 2x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:05:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10191614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipitiness/pseuds/serendipitiness
Summary: He’d meant it – he still means it, and he thinks he’ll mean it forever – but Alec never wants to have to say it like that again.(or how Alec tells Magnus he loves him the second time, the way he really wants to)





	

When he goes to sleep that night, Alec fidgets, twisting under the covers until he finds fragile skin, until he can feel Magnus’ slow, steady heartbeat against his cheek.

It helps, for a bit.

He still ends up gasping himself awake in the middle of the night, images of blood and bodies and cat eyes printed on the inside of his skull. He can’t breathe, only just choking out a frantic, “Where’s Magnus?”

Only when he feels the firm press of a hand against his chest and a soft _I’m here_ does he calm down.

***

It’s dawn when Alec opens his eyes again, the edge of the sun staining the sky gray and pink through the window. For a beat, he can’t remember where he is, until he tries to move and can’t. His right arm is pinned, Magnus’ head resting on his bicep, Magnus’ arm wrapped around his waist, their legs entwined.

 _Oh_.

Alec’s not used to this yet – to waking up next to his boyfriend, to seeing his face soft with sleep, to being so close to one another just because they need to satisfy the desire to touch. He’s not used to it yet, but he wants to be, _needs_ to be after yesterday.

Yesterday had been too much.

The fear that he’d lose the Institute. That he couldn’t save Jace or Izzy.

That he’d lose Magnus.

He’d told Magnus, “I love you.” Yesterday, he’d said it for the first time, but in terror, in relief, in a moment when he could barely hear himself think over the adrenaline and panic buzzing in his head.

He’d meant it – he still means it, and he thinks he’ll mean it forever – but Alec never wants to have to say it like that again.

He never wants to have to say it because he’s relieved Magnus is alive, because he didn’t die, because he made it through a war. He never wants to say it when he’s also thinking _thank you for surviving, thank you for being here, please don’t scare me like that again._

Alec just wants to say it when he feels it. Without a life-or-death situation hanging over their heads, without pressure or worry or fear overwhelming him.

He wants to say it when Magnus gives him one of those looks when Jace says something stupid, or when Alec is trying to finish mission reports and Magnus is distracting him. He wants to say it when his mother’s in town and they hide in the loft, eating Chinese takeout and watching bad television about horrible cooks...

...or when they wake up next to each other in the morning.

Exhaling, Alec turns to face Magnus, letting his other arm come up around him, running his hands down the smooth skin of his back. His gaze hovers over dark hair, short lashes, a mouth parted sweetly in sleep. He scoots down gently to press his lips against Magnus’ forehead, lingering for a breath.

“I love you,” Alec whispers. He pulls Magnus in until there’s no space between them, until the words come out in a rush because he can't keep them inside. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Magnus shifts minutely in his arms, face scrunching before he opens his eyes. He blinks once, twice, then looks at Alec, the gold of his irises piercing in the hazy morning light. He smiles softly, beautifully, reaching slowly and kissing Alec’s chin, his nose, his mouth.

“I love you too, my darling,” Magnus says, voice husky and tender. “I love you too.”

Alec smiles back at Magnus, the words warming him from the center of his chest until he can feel it in his fingertips. He holds onto Magnus just a bit tighter.

For the rest of his life, he thinks, this is how he wants to say it, and this is how he wants to hear it.

**Author's Note:**

> I am still slain from 2x10 (99% because of these two fluffernutters). Will probably rise from the dead around June.
> 
> Comments, kudos, and all those nice things are much appreciated!
> 
> come hang w/ me on tumblr [ @s-erendipitiness](https://s-erendipitiness.tumblr.com/).


End file.
